Last Updated: April 30, 2026
Sociologist Mildred Parten would tell you the Six Stages of Play include:
- unoccupied
- solitary
- onlooker
- parallel
- associative
- cooperative
You’re watching your toddler push a wooden train around the living room, completely absorbed, totally ignoring the other child doing exactly the same thing two feet away. Are they antisocial? Behind? Just shy?
Nope. They’re right on track — and a researcher named Mildred Parten figured out why nearly a century ago.
In the late 1920s, Parten spent hours observing preschool children at free play. What she noticed was that children don’t just suddenly start playing with each other — they move through a sequence of social stages, from playing alone to playing together. It’s a journey, not a switch.
Understanding these six stages won’t just put your mind at ease. It’ll change the way you see play entirely.
Who Was Mildred Parten?
Mildred Parten Newhall was an American sociologist who published her observations in her 1929 dissertation, later refined into a landmark 1932 journal article. She studied children aged 2 to 5 during free play — unstructured time with no adult agenda — and identified six distinct types of social participation.
Her framework is still widely used by child development specialists, early years educators, and paediatricians today. It’s one of those rare ideas that has genuinely stood the test of time, even if modern researchers have added some useful nuance (more on that in a moment).
The 6 Stages of Parten’s Play Explained
(01) Unoccupied Play (Birth – ~3 months)
This is the stage that barely looks like play at all. The baby or very young child seems to be doing… nothing in particular. They might stand in one spot, make random movements, or simply watch the world go by.
But don’t be fooled. This quiet observation is actually the very beginning of engaging with the environment. The brain is taking it all in.
What it looks like: A newborn gazing at a mobile. A baby waving their hands in the air, studying their own fingers.
What supports it: Simple, visually interesting objects. A well-made wooden rattle. High-contrast patterns. Safe space to move.
(02) Solitary Play (~2–3 years)
Your child plays alone. They’re in their own world, focused on their own activity, and genuinely unbothered by what anyone else is doing around them.
This is completely healthy and developmentally appropriate. Younger toddlers haven’t yet developed the social skills to coordinate play with others — solitary play is where they build focus, imagination, and self-sufficiency.
Here’s the thing parents sometimes miss: solitary play is not a problem to solve. It’s a foundation to celebrate.
What it looks like: A two-year-old quietly stacking wooden blocks, entirely uninterested in the other child doing the same thing nearby.
What supports it: Open-ended toys that don’t dictate how they’re used. Wooden blocks, loose parts, simple figures — the kind of toy that does less so your child’s imagination can do more.
(03) Onlooker Play (~2.5–3.5 years)
Your child watches other children play. They might comment on what the others are doing, ask questions, or cheer them on — but they don’t join in.
This is a genuinely underrated stage. Onlooker play is not passivity; it’s research. Children at this stage are studying social dynamics, learning the rules of interaction, and working up the confidence to participate.
What it looks like: Your child standing at the edge of a group game, watching intently but not stepping in. They might say “they’re building a tower!” but won’t reach for a block themselves.
What supports it: Low-pressure play environments. Familiar toys they can relate to — seeing someone build with blocks they also use at home makes observation feel safe and relevant.
(04) Parallel Play (~2–4 years)
This is the one that confuses parents the most — and it’s also one of the most charming stages to witness.
Parallel play is when two (or more) children play alongside each other, doing the same or similar things, without actually interacting or coordinating. They’re aware of each other. They may even mimic each other. But they’re not playing together.
Think of two children sitting side by side, each building their own tower with wooden blocks — no conversation, no sharing, no collaboration. Just companionable parallel existence.
Parallel play is actually a really important bridge. It’s how children practice being around others without the pressure of having to socially coordinate yet. They’re getting comfortable with proximity.
What it looks like: Two toddlers at a sandpit, each digging their own tunnel. Two children with identical sets of coloured wooden rings, building separately but glancing at each other’s work.
What supports it: Toys that can be used by multiple children simultaneously without requiring sharing. Duplicate sets of blocks or loose parts work beautifully here. Nobody has to negotiate ownership — they just play.
(05) Associative Play (~3–4 years)
Now we’re getting social. In associative play, children interact with each other — they talk, they share materials, they show each other things — but there’s no real plan or structure to what they’re doing together. It’s delightfully chaotic.
There’s no assigned roles, no agreed goal, no leader. Just an interested group of children orbiting the same activity, dipping in and out of each other’s worlds.
What it looks like: A group of children all drawing with the same crayons, chatting about what they’re making, occasionally looking at each other’s work and commenting — but each making their own picture.
What supports it: Toys and materials that naturally invite sharing and conversation. Art supplies, sand and water, building sets, simple wooden figures that can populate the same imaginary world — all great here.
(06) Cooperative Play (~4 years and up)
This is the stage Parten considered the most socially sophisticated — and it’s genuinely impressive to watch.
In cooperative play, children organise their activity together. There are rules. There are roles. There is a shared goal. Someone is the teacher, someone is the shopkeeper, someone is the dragon, someone is the knight. The game has a structure that the children themselves have negotiated and agreed upon.
This requires a significant level of social maturity: communication, compromise, theory of mind (understanding that other people have different perspectives), and the ability to delay your own desires for the sake of the group.
What it looks like: Four children setting up an elaborate pretend market, deciding who runs which stall, agreeing on what the money is, and playing out extended scenarios together.
What supports it: Open-ended toys that can take on many roles — a set of wooden figures, some fabric scraps, a few loose parts — give children the raw material to construct elaborate shared worlds without dictating the plot.
A Few Things Worth Knowing
These stages aren’t a strict ladder
Children don’t neatly graduate from one stage and leave the others behind. A confident five-year-old will still enjoy solitary play when they want peace and focus. A child who normally plays cooperatively might revert to parallel play with a child they don’t know well yet.
Think of it less like climbing a staircase and more like expanding a repertoire. Each new stage adds to what a child can do — it doesn’t erase what came before.
Social confidence plays a role
Research since Parten’s time has shown that how well children know each other affects which stage of play they engage in. Put two four-year-olds who are strangers together, and you might see parallel play. Give them a few weeks of familiarity, and they’re deep in cooperative territory. This is completely normal and worth factoring in when you’re watching your child in new social situations.
Solitary play in older children isn’t a red flag
One critique of Parten’s framework is that it can accidentally pathologise introverted children or children who simply like playing alone. A seven-year-old who prefers building their own elaborate wooden train layout to playing group games is not developmentally behind — they might just be someone who recharges through independent, focused play. That’s a personality type, not a problem.
What Does This Mean for the Toys You Choose?
At Oddblocks, we think about this a lot. The best toys for children — the ones that truly earn their place in a home — tend to be the ones that adapt across these stages.
A well-made set of wooden building blocks can support a baby in unoccupied play (fascinating textures and shapes to look at), a two-year-old in solitary play (stacking and toppling independently), parallel play with a sibling (building side by side), and full cooperative play later on (building a city together with rules about who builds what).
Eco-friendly, open-ended wooden toys aren’t just a planet-friendly choice. They’re developmentally brilliant — because they don’t lock children into one type of play. They grow with your child, through every stage Parten described.
Those Are Parten’s Six Play Stages
Parten’s stages of play are a gift to curious parents — a framework that helps you see what’s really happening when your child plays. That toddler ignoring the other child? Developmentally right on schedule. The five-year-old who sets up elaborate pretend scenarios with rules and roles? Demonstrating genuine social sophistication.
Play is never “just” play. It’s how children figure out themselves, other people, and how the world works.
Your job? Get out of the way, observe with curiosity, and make sure they’ve got the right materials to explore each stage as they’re ready for it.
At Oddblocks, we review and recommend wooden and eco-friendly toys that genuinely support how children grow and play. Because good play deserves good tools.
